The Blind World of Physical Darkness

Well it will be officially two weeks tomorrow that my eye sight was taken from me! Yes for a total of four whole days I experienced what it is like to live a life in physical darkness. A blind woman was I. Having loss my independence I had to become more of a dependant. Something I have to say was quite the challenge especially if you are one who gives a lot of yourself to serving others. This time I was the one being served and I had to learn to accept the fact that I was handicap and I needed to trust and depend on others! Ah, yes the word trust and depend!

After the reality shock of not being able to see, and realization that hey, I can't drive, read, watch TV, text even dial a number on my phone, cook for fear I would burn the house down! The very thought of going grocery store shopping terrified me! I was even afraid to adventure out of my little bubble of a house to even let the dog out! The worst part of it all was over that weekend I had planned a painting party like several months before to repaint the outside of the house. I had friends and family coming from all over to help out and lend a hand. And all I could do was sit and stare at the back of dark eyelids! Not even able to see their faces nor could I help paint with them. It was painfully difficult to let go of my independence and pride. I have lived by the model it is better to give then to receive! Well when you are a giver receiving is sometimes foreign to you! I tell you I have never felt so blessed and loved then I did that day realizing that yes, you are loved! Not just with the love of man but a deep love that comes from a community of brothers and sisters unified in Christ and the love of Christ that was very inevitable and seen to all coming together to serve just as the Son came to serve! "just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many." Matthew 20:28 I also found myself in a spirit of thanksgiving thanking God for His many blessings. Even Saul could not see anything after his encounter. So they lead him by the hand into Damascus. I had to be led by the hand from my house to the car and from the car into eye center. Now that is trust!

So I asked myself the question, "Why God?" What were you trying to show me and what am I suppose to be learning from all of this? Another lesson in trust possibility. An offering and deceleration to you in prayer and praises expressing my thankfulness for the restoration of my eye sight! I was shown how much I am loved by friends and family both near and far! How much I love reading Gods Word! How much I missed it! How incredibly hungry I am for the truth! And like the dumb sheep I am. I have to not only hear the voice of the Shepherd, but follow it! I was able to surrender my independence over and become more trusting while depending on the Father. I learned how hard it is to BE STILL and listen when pain and darkness try to take over. That the prayers of the saints create a since of peace and another word for a good night sleep resting in the Shepherds arms! By being a doer and serving others it is an amazing blessing to be the receiver and allow your self to be loved. It is one to give love but it is another to receive love. I also learned how to quiet ones self to listen, BE STILL, know!

"But this happened so that the work of God maybe displayed in (my) his life." John 9:3